Buuut, for documentation sake...Here are a few of my least favorite things.
Pumping.
Oh, pumping. I want Whitney Paige to have all of life's good things. One of those is breast milk (or as I call it: Liquid Gold--have you seen the price of formula?) Because she was so early, actually breastfeeding was more difficult. She could do it but I wouldn't know how much she took. Growing was critically important, so enter the pump. Since 7/29/10, I can officially relate to a Moo Cow. Reminds me of a tune that my dad taught us:
I am no bodies moo cow now. The bulls don't react somehow.
Saggy hips, baggy lips, only give about a pint of milk*
As I stroll down the old cow patch, the bulls look at me and laugh. Hahaha.
Chopped off tail, sawed off horns. The ugliest cow that was ever born.
I'm no bodies moo cow now.
*I wish I could produce a pint of milk. And I won't even start on how much I cry when I spill the hard sought after milk. Whoever cleverly said "don't cry over spilled milk" was not a mama pumping breast milk.
(hahah!)
The worst part about pumping, aside from the obvious--hooking the 'girls' up to a high powered suction--is that I don't keep up with Whitney Paige's intake. This is my fault--early on I was not consistent enough to herd myself into the kitchen, clean the parts and pump every 2-3 hours (especially at night). So I never had the best supply. However, now, WP is basically on a 2 to 1 mix of formula to breast milk. This mix has not been easy for her to digest--so I feel even worse.
And this leads me to my second mommy-hood complaint:
Bowel Movements.
I actually LOVE when WP has a bowel--this is major success and a sign that the internal system is working like it is supposed to. However, since the new mix of formula has been introduced her little body is just a bit out of sync. Her bowels aren't regular and she is gassy...And therefore sleeping for a consistent amount of time without being woken by gas pains is not common these days. She is in pain and I am responsible. It hurts my heart (and my sleep routine).
Next complaint. Sleep
The newborn phase brings on a new level of exhaustion...It's a different kind of tired. She sleeps pretty well but we are still jumpy so every little grunt, sign, squeak, toot, etc, causes us to pop up and make sure she is A-Ok. Clark says I'll quit being jumpy in about 30 years. I will quote her daddy: "By the time we don't have to worry about her choking on spit up, we have to worry about her picking up marbles." The good news is, I don't think baby girls play with marbles--so as long as Hannah has outgrown Mancala in the next year, we're good! Guitar picks, dog treats, my abandoned flip flops lying on the floor...now those we'll have to keep an eye out for.
Dishes.
Pumping supplies, bottles with 4 components...it never ends. I did buy (or borrowed, or both) the bottles that Whitney & Barrett used. She highly recommended Dr. Browns, though there are several pieces...Seriously...Bottle. Nipple. Thing that holds bottle and nipple together. Weird little thing that has tiny holes--I think the milk comes through to the nipple. Air filter thing to keep air out of babies belly (we're still gassy, so who knows about this--or I guess it could be a lot worse than it is...OPTIMISM, Lauren!). My description is bad, but my point is...there are a lot of pieces. And the pump supplies add about 3 more pieces. If WP eats every three hours and I pump every three hours, that is about 56 items that need to be washed every day. Oh wait, and the bottles that I pump into...That's 72. UGH!
Finally, my last complaint. The Bengals. Seriously, how can they lose with a fan like her? I guess, I should not complain when everything that annoys me is for her, too. I sure do love her...Even with sleepless nights, sore "girls", gassy air, endless dishes...
I haven't thought about that song in YEARS! That is so funny that you would think about yourself like that!
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