27 and 6

Dear Pea,

You won’t understand this yet, but I have a very important story to tell you today, to celebrate our 27 weeks and 6 days together. Today has been the day that I have counted down to...Most expectant mothers would be counting down to 40 weeks (and I will now) but September 10 was secondary to June 16. It's actually interesting timing for the story because this very afternoon, you're Aunt Whitney, Barrett and big sister Hannah will be taking a road trip to Virginia together to celebrate the precious life of your cousin! And that's how this story all started, over 7 months ago...

Aunt Whitney and I were planning a trip to Virginia for baby shower that was scheduled for your cousin Barrett. We were set to leave the first week in October for the big day. We didn't know that in the midst of all of our planning that one of the most difficult experiences of all time was right ahead. Instead of showering Whitney with presents, we were not far away from meeting the baby that should have been showered!

At 27 weeks and 6 days, Barrett Earl Dunlap, your cousin, was born. You will meet Barrett soon, though you are already familiar with him, I am sure. I love to hold Barrett and you have already enjoyed getting a punch or kick in while he’s been in my arms. I think that’s your way of saying that you love him—or maybe you are getting your kicks in while you can because he will probably run the show for a while after you come along!

Your Aunt Whitney had been on bed rest for several weeks on the day I received a terrible call from Uncle Matt. Around 5:00 am, Aunt Whitney was in an ambulance and was being taken to Good Sam (the same hospital where you will be born). She was having complications from genetic high blood pressure and the complications had taken a turn for the worse. She was 25 weeks along.

As soon as Uncle Matt called back to confirm that they were in a room, your dad and I headed over. We found Aunt Whitney, Uncle Matt and a soon-to-be Barrett in a small hospital room. It was as scared as I have ever been. Your Aunt Whitney was so brave-way more so than your emotional Mommy! I hope you get her ability to remain composed because you certainly won’t get it from me (or your Daddy, you’ll soon find out.)

Over the course of the day, Nana and Grandy, Aunt Ashley and your other cousin Kaleb had begun the drive to see Aunt Whitney. I was so happy to have some reinforcements. Your Aunt Whitney and I are very close, but there is something only Nana could provide. Pea, you and I will know what that is all about one day soon!

During the next few days, Aunt Whitney took a positive turn and eventually, everyone had to leave, except Grandy. He, Uncle Matt and I took as good of care of Aunt Whitney as we could!

Each day for two weeks, Aunt Whitney would have ultrasounds to check Barrett's status. Our whole family was hopeful for many, many days. And for a while, it seemed like we might get them!

Grandy decided, after a couple weeks of stability, that he would head back to Florida. About two days later, Whitney called me at work and simply said “We’re having a baby today.” I left work immediately to meet her and Uncle Matt. I went straight to the room to find, yet again, a cool, collected Aunt Whitney. Barrett was almost 28 weeks—a big milestone in development as survival rates increase from 25 weeks (50%) to about 85%, I think.

I often questioned God during this time…something I’ll encourage you not to do. I wondered why Aunt Whitney would have to go through something so terrible and why He would want little Barrett to make his way into this world just yet. But most importantly, I questioned God’s timing in the development process. I know that God has created each of us but I couldn’t help but wonder why the lungs weren’t one of the first things to form. I guess they have been forming since the beginning but I really wish they were finished prior to 25-28 weeks. The lungs were the biggest concern, though there were several others, of course. It was my thought that a premature baby could do without fingernails or hair, but lungs are so critical. I would later see that Barrett was born with very premature lungs but perfectly precious finger nails and toe nails. They were so sweet but I would have traded them, at that point, for finished lungs. I trust that God knows what’s best—the miracle of birth is something that only He could do.

Anyhow, October 21 around 3:45 or so, Barrett made his way into this world. Uncle Matt called my cell phone to find where I was in the hospital. He didn’t say anything, just that he was in the lobby looking for me. I walked up and he had the most stern look. I didn’t know if the baby had made it or if something terrible happened. He didn’t give me any indication, and the walk across the lobby was the longest of my life. I reached Matt and he informed me that Barrett was alive. He was tiny and in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (where he would be for months), but he was alive. Aunt Whitney was in recovery so Uncle Matt took me to meet your cousin. Barrett was 1 lb 10 oz, 12 inches long.

Sweet little Pea, I know that the moment I see you, I will fall in love harder than I have ever before. Harder than when I fell in love with your daddy (which is a lot) and harder than I love Nana and Grandy (which is also a lot). However, I got a teeny glimpse of how much I would love you when I met Barrett for the first time. I am not sure if it was because of the traumatic start to life and the weeks leading up to it or because he is simply the son of my sister. For whatever reason, he was/is the most perfect and precious life I have known. I am sure you will find a way to rival that, but he is stiff competition little girl!
















Now that you and I have come to this milestone, Pea, I will really start to enjoy this pregnancy the way I should. My fears of you being ok have managed to calm down. I have confidence that you are right where you are supposed to be—and you’ll stay there until its time for you to make your arrival.

I should tell you that you’ll be joining something pretty amazing as soon as you get here (no rush! We’ll wait!). You're Daddy and I can't wait for you to meet Hannah. You'll love her--and probably drive her nuts during the next few years together. There is nothing like a sister and both of you will find that out very soon!

You have the coolest Aunt Whitney who will likely spoil you rotten--she’s already started, actually. And your cousin Barrett is grand. You two will be thick as thieves, just like his mommy and your mommy were. You also have the greatest Grandy and Nana in the world. I am sure they will come visit you when you are born, just like they did for Barrett. Aunt Ashley will be here too—she will spoil you and take great care of you. Uncle Brian will visit; just like he did with Barrett…You’ll find out soon that you are coming into a very special family. They already love you so much. You just hang tight until September and we’ll ALL see you then!

I love you so much already!!
Mommy